Worn out welcome

Hello all, today I am going to start out this rant by saying I think it imperative that as human beings that we all when ever possible lend a helping hand to those in need, especially those whom we consider to be friends or loved ones. That being said how much is too much. Is there ever a point where people should be cut off. When does it cross the line of being in need and venture into the realm of being a comfortable mooch.

Often times many of us that are in a position where we see someone close to us in a time of need, and most of us will at the drop of a dime offer ourselves to these friends or loved ones without a thought to slow us down. I see no problem with such actions because in my opinion I feel this is how it should always be. Now my question is can those of us who find ourselves in these positions be doing more harm than good.

As harsh as it may seem sometimes people are in need of “tough love”, and when we reach out to help these people we are not helping them in the long term because many people become comfortable with that fact that instead of having to deal with these tough situations they end up in they can just run to one of these helping hands to put out the fire for them. Now I do not believe this is always the case, in some instances there are people that have exhausted every alternative and shamed to have to seek outside help for something they could not accomplish themselves after many unsuccessful attempts. And on that same not once they receive the help they so desperately need they are up and out on their own again and are grateful for the gesture.

Now there are those who may not be as shameful. These people I speak about are the ones who I would say take advantage of their so called friends’ willingness to lend a helping hand.

This is where my question comes into play. How do you all feel about people who are constantly reaching out for a hand and never really seem to be doing what it takes to get back on their feet or to keep themselves from falling back into that situation again. Is it our duty as “friends” to be there for them time and time again or even when it seems that we may be taken for a ride.

This Rant comes about because of a situation I have encountered that has been going on for the last two months or so. There is a family who themselves are having rough times but none the less are fighting to better their situation with every waking hour. They being the good people that they are opened their home to a friend who was down on his/her luck. At first seemed that this would be a temporary thing, but as time went on said guest was not showing any signs of leaving, instead said guest just became more comfortable and more settled.

As time progress members of the family became more and more uncomfortable as guest began to meddle in family happenings. These unwanted interjections into family situations escalated from uncomfortable to irritating. Guest while supposedly trying to get back on their feet was enjoying the hospitality of this family by spending late nights out and sleeping in most of the day while everyone went about there day working and going to school. Said guest even went as far as to start a relationship and although that is the business of said guess it seems as though that is where focus is and not on better the situation so they can get back on their feet.

Now here is the question again, is this too much. Has this guests welcome been exhausted, should the family continue to support this person, can they even call this person a friend when they are doing all they can to accommodate this person while this person shows no signs of trying to help or better themself. Should the family feel bad or wrong for coming to the conclusion that guest has to leave, even though their home has went from helpful sanctuary to the play ground of this guess, who comes and goes and they please and while that is not an issue the hours that this is being done is. Mind you nothing has been asked of this guest, nothing at all and it seems that said guest is not really at all concerned or bothered with the fact that they have become a parasite rather than a needy friend trying to get back on their feet.

Now before I get carried away with this one I will end with this.....

When is enough enough ? Should we be obligated to continue to support someone who is unwilling to support themselves because of problems they may have but show no interest in addressing or solving ? When it comes to the point where feel uncomfortable in our own homes or our family is being affected by these attempts at doing a good for someone who in short really doesnt seem care for what is being done for them, are we wrong for wanting to end the situation as abruptly as possible ?

Where is the line drawn between being in need and being a mooch ?

When should we cut them off ?

Is it time for uninvited guest to go ?